If you were a diver and found yourself in last place in the last round of the Olympics, wouldn’t you be tempted to knock out a world class cannonball? You would be forever famous and surely, your countrymen and women would applaud your courage. We certainly would.
Do you think that ladybugs know that everyone loves them? I bet they showoff in front of the other insects when they are out flying around. “Watch this Mosquito, I’m totally going to land on that dude over there. 10 bucks says he calls the kids over to see how adorable I am.” It must be how Australians feel when they travel.
Mastering the grilled cheese sandwich is a skill one can only achieve after years of parenting. Even then, the probability of cheesy perfection is not in your favor:
- Situation #1: You are pressed for time (which is why you are serving grilled cheese for dinner) and rush through the initial staging activities. Your haste results in a grotesquely uneven butter spread but you say to yourself, “It’ll work itself out.” It doesn’t, and manifests itself into the black edges, soggy middle, and patches of uncooked bread that have become your grilled cheese hallmark.
- Situation #2: You are acutely aware of how you burned the grilled cheese last time and therefore aggressively flip the sandwich every five seconds to ‘see how the other side is doing.’ This ends up shifting the alignment of the bread pieces, enabling cheese leakage and the inevitable smoking pile of goop on your pan.
- Situation #3: You are seconds away from perfection when your phone lights up, notifying you that @snarkypants78 just mentioned you in a comment. Can’t hurt to take a quick look at what he said, right? There is a reason why grilled cheese was voted the most likely meal to set-off the smoke detector.
In light of what you are up against, when you do manage to craft the coveted golden square of delciousness, make sure you pause to reflect on your achievement … and then send us a selfie.
My son watches a cartoon where the characters can assume the ‘super power’ of any animal. A cheetah’s speed, a bear’s strength, an eagle’s sight. My animal super power would likely be that of the firefly. There are hundreds of situations where illuminating my butt would be super helpful. Power outage, conversation starter, dropping something beneath your seat while driving. Practical and fun.