My son watches a cartoon where the characters can assume the ‘super power’ of any animal. A cheetah’s speed, a bear’s strength, an eagle’s sight. My animal super power would likely be that of the firefly. There are hundreds of situations where illuminating my butt would be super helpful. Power outage, conversation starter, dropping something beneath your seat while driving. Practical and fun.
O’ Nap, o’ Nap, o’ glorious Nap,
Wherever did you go?
You used to be so magical,
You used to be my bro.
We did not talk,
There was no need,
You and I just knew.
That when we got together,
Pure happiness would ensue.
Sometimes long and sometimes short,
I loved you all the same.
You were there for me
And I for you,
But now I never hear your name.
I miss you Nap, I want you back,
The truth, I must confess.
My days are scattered,
Lost, in disarray,
They call me The Hot Mess.
Remember when soap used to leave you smelling like … well, soap? There are definitely worse things to smell like but the advances in personal fragrance technology over the last ten years have been remarkable, leaving the smell of ‘soap’ behind us. Now I smell like a Japanese Cherry Blossom that was pelted by Frosted Coconut Snowballs as a glorious Plumeria Sunrise breaks on the horizon of what will surely be a Beautiful Day. Thank you Bath & Body works.
Imagine how great it would be to own your own airplane banner business. You could put any message you wanted in big, glorious letters in the sky. Maybe you need to set the record straight on an outstanding argument:
“Happy Anniversary! Love your FAVORITE son.”
Or provide suggestions for your fellow citizens:
“Just remember, the left lane is for passing.”
Favorite movie quote? That would brighten everyone’s day, right?
“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Aha ha.”
Or maybe you think everyone appreciates bad parenting jokes as much as you do:
“Whoever smelt it, dealt it.”
The sky is the limit!
We started doing puzzles together as a family. It’s actually a lot of fun and gets everyone talking about a variety of subjects. The highlight though is that our 4-year-old says, “You nailed it!” every time we string together a bunch of pieces. “You’re really nailing that monster, Dad!” “Way to nail that cat, Mom.”
One of the great responsibilities of being a parent is helping with language development. Occasionally, a little poetic license is acceptable. Thanks to my wife, the front stoop (or steps) to the house will forever be known as ‘The Juicy’ by our 4-year-old. “Dad, do you want to go eat our ice pops on The Juicy?” That sounds delightful.
#happystuff #icepops #kaineduds #parentinglicense
If I were to choose a spirit animal, it would likely be the flamingo. They’re pretty cool to look at. They generally live in warm, tropical climates. Spend most of their time chatting it up with their buddies. And they get to eat shrimp all day. Who wouldn’t want that?
Hands-down, one of the greatest road trip games of all time is Slug Bug (or as it’s called in some parts of the world, Punch Buggy). While traveling, if you were the first to see a Volkswagen Beetle on the road you yelled, “Slug Bug” while punching whomever was sitting next to you, like an unsuspecting brother or sister. It was one of the only parent-sanctioned forms of sibling fighting. “Mom, Ryan hit me!” “Well, he did say Slug Bug.”
Scoring from the goalie position in foosball has to be the equivalent of scoring a real goal, on a bicycle kick, in the World Cup. It always takes a second to actually process the accomplishment but it is nothing short of remarkable. We need to celebrate these little victories more often…even if you are just competing against your 5-year-old.
#happystuff #foosball #littlevictories
There is something about the ever-present fear of a balloon animal bursting during its creation that makes the end result so rewarding. A wiener dog that is hand-crafted from rubber and air is amazing in and of itself, but teetering on the edge of a 4-year-old’s meltdown while standing at the mercy of some carnival clown is 100% adrenaline.
#happystuff #balloonanimals #parenting